I'm parenting an emotionally intense child... now what?

Ok, so where do I start?

With the 5 key elements to stay calm

1. Regulation

That's basically the official word for "staying calm". More specifically it means being in tune with the context. It's when we are feeling emotions that fit the space and moment we are in and we don't feel stressed. We are able to think clearly and act in line with our values and what we know is right for our kids. It's the state we want to be in as much as possible, but let's be honest we can't be in that state 100% of the time, the goals is to be able to get back to a regulated state more easily and faster and have some control over it.

To be regulated, we need to practice some mindfulness and other regulating activities daily, multiple times a day. Don't yell at me just now, I promise it's doable and not something that will require you 2 hours of free alone time a day (no parent has that!).

And being regulated will help us avoid escalating the situation with our kids when they are triggering us, so we can keep the line of communication open and keep (or rebuilt) a positive relationship with our child. 

2. Guilt, Fear and Unrealistic Expectations

Some of the things that dysregulate us is all the negative feelings we can have when our kids are melting down. It's really easy to spiral into fear of thinking they will never be able to act differently or they will never be functioning adults.

It's also very easy to feel guilt and doubt that the way we are supporting them is the right one. 

And many of those things are triggered by the expectations we have for ourselves as parents and for our kids. Those expectations are often unrealistic for them and for us and make us fell like failures. 

3. Dealing with Judgment

The judgment of others can also be a cause of stress for parents of emotionally intense kids.

That's when I love to focus on the fact that you are the expert when it comes to your child. YOU know them best and no "parenting expert" can know better than you what to do with your child. Even more true when the "expert" is a friend of family member, a social media influencer or a complete stranger. 

Letting go of the judgment we feel makes. huge difference as feeling judge can very easily dysregulate us. 

4. Confidence and Instinct

Feeling confident in our parenting choices is essential and the flip side of guilt, fear and judgement. When we trust ourselves and the decisions we make for our kids, we can then let go of those much more easily.

"You are a wonderful parent to your exceptional, but challenging, child. Embrace your strengths and let go of unrealistic expectations imposed by society."

Each child has their own needs, struggles, and strengths. Understanding and supporting their specific needs is key to fostering their emotional well-being and will help you to stay much stronger in your confidence because you will KNOW that you're doing what's right for them. 

5. Support and Community

Finding the right support system is essential in navigating the challenges of parenting intense children. Find your tribe, your people who understand you, believe you, and ideally that have experienced it themselves. It makes all the difference when we don't feel judge and alone anymore and instead we feel supported and like we belong. 

Parenting emotionally intense children can be overwhelming, but with the right tools and support, you can find a way to stay calm and regulated, even when your child is not, so that you can be the parent you want to be for them (most of the time).

Great, so how can you help me?

Everything I offer is designed specifically for YOU, parents of emotionally intense kids in mind. 

If you're starting on your journey, I suggest you look at those resources first: