Welcome to the podcast. We are starting a series of episode about regulation and coregulation and dysregulation, All the ways to stay calm, basically. And I wanted to start by just addressing the different key points, different key topics of how to stay calm, and then we'll go deeper in each of them in different episode.

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Because it can be a bit overwhelming sometimes, there's so many things to think about, so many things to consider when we're talking about staying calm or helping our kids stay calm. I wanted to start with a list. So a list of all the different things that needs to be addressed and that needs to be considered in how we stay calm and our how kids can stay calm. And I went to the first one is coregulation, and I've already talked about that in a previous episode. I'm gonna link it. And I'm gonna try and come back and link the future episodes on the different topics too.

Try to remember to do that. But regulation and co regulation and and co regulation is really the fact that we need to stay calm ourselves to help others calm down and by supporting them in the way they are. But also just being calm next to someone who is not is helping them to calm down. So this is one key very, very key point. And for that reason, it's the the the most important step is for us to stay calm if we want to help our kids calm down. Yes. We can teach them lots of techniques and things and tricks and to calm down, but the most important one is to first stay calm ourselves. And I know how hard that is, but it still is their first step.

And as I said, this is just an introduction of the different things. We will go deeper in all of them in later episodes. Another key is to understand and support our kids' needs in different and that can look different. And, really, each kids have their own needs and their own struggle and their own strengths. And for that reason, we really need to play detective, I always say that, and support the kids for what they really need. And, this is very key because no 2 Emotionally kids, no 2 kids for that matter, needs the same things to thrive and to feel good. So understanding what they really need is really important. The other one, and we already addressed it, is to not escalate when things are getting hard, when they are reacting intensely, not escalating.

And it's directly related to co regulation is that we are not putting, like, oil on the fire. We are we are able to stay calm. And by staying calm and not escalating, we are keeping the line of communication open with them, and we are, allowing for a deeper and more positive relationship. The way to stay calm and not escalate is to practice mindfulness. This is key. It's not all any kind of set of self care that we need to do. It's something that helps us regulate our nervous system so that we can stay calm even when things are hard. So we will go deeper into that, but it can look a lot of different ways.

The most obvious are like meditation, but going out to nature, yoga, sports, knitting, gardening, photography. That's mine. My favorite one. There is there is so many like, any kind of crafts, anything that grounds us, that help us, most of the time, like, be present in the moment. That's that's mindfulness. It's being present in the moment. Most of those, like, all of those things would help us regulate our nervous system. So we will definitely go deeper in many of them over the next episodes, and there was already some in the previous episodes.

Another key to be able to stay calm is to feel confident. Again, I'll go deeper into that because that's one of my favorite topics. But when we doubt ourselves and doubt that what we're doing for our kids, the way we are supporting them, the way we are adapting, lowering expectations, or anything. But if we doubt, if we're not confident in what we're doing, it makes it really hard. And it makes it that we cannot be regulated and calm because we get into fear. And when we get into fear, we're not regulated or calm at all. We are in fear based response, and we will not be reacting in a way that best support our kids. When we feel judged, for example, we need to be very confident in our position to be able to keep that position and react the right way.

So this is very key to stay calm. And dealing with judgment is another one. I just addressed it. Being able to support the judgment, being able to respond to judgment, and being able to just put judgment aside and forget about it, and dealing with our own judgment ourselves In the same way as the confident part, when we judge ourselves, we're not in a regulated we cannot be in a regulated state. And the last key, is support. We need to be supported by people who understand, by people who believe us, by people who who've lived it or who are there or experiencing it. They understand. They they know what we're going through.

This is very important because it will support everything else. It will make things so much easier, or it can make things harder if we don't have the right kind of support. So those are the key things that help us take on. There's, of course, all kinds of sub sub things, sub subjects, anyway, that, will be part of it. But, coregulation or regulation, understanding and supporting the kids' needs, not escalating, practice in mind mindfulness, feeling confident, dealing with judgment, and getting supported are the key ones that are basically related to everything else that we will be talking about. I'm so glad you joined me today and took that time out of your intense life to focus on finding a new way to parent that works for you and your kids. To get the episodes at Soon as Day Drop, make sure to subscribe to the Also, check out all the free resources on my website at familymoments. Ca so you can take action on what's the most important for you right now.

And take a deep breath. Keep going. We're all in this together.