044 – Being the Parent of an Emotionally Intense Child, What that’s like?

Welcome to the podcast. Today I will talk about what it is to be the parent of an emotionally intense child. Welcome to Parenting the Intensity where we'll talk all about how we can drop the general parenting advice that doesn't work with our emotionally intense kids anyway and let go of the unrealistic expectations society puts on us as parents. Together we'll find solutions and ideas that work for you and your kids. Chances are deep down you know what you need but you need a little encouragement to keep going on harder days and permission to do things differently and help you fully trust that you already are a wonderful parent to your exceptional but challenging kids.

Are you tired of feeling overwhelmed and uncertain when it comes to parenting your emotionally intense child? Do you often find yourself playing with guilt, fearing that you're not doing enough to help them navigate their intense emotion? You are not alone.
Many parents face these challenges and struggle to find the right path forward. But take a deep breath, there's hope. That's why I created the Parenting the Intensity community. Imagine having a clear roadmap tailored specifically to your child's unique needs and your family's reality. Picture feeling empowered and confident in your parenting, knowing that you are providing the support and understanding your child needs. It may seem like an unattainable dream right now, but I'm here to tell you that it is within reach. Come join us for monthly group support to connect with other parents and get supported with your challenge right now. You also get one -on -one chat and audio office hours for the things that you're really not ready to share in the group, and workshop tools, courses, to help you in the process of finding that balance of parenting in a way that works for you, your child, and your family.

So how is it to be the parents of an emotionally intense child? In one word, challenging. In more words, it can be isolating, frustrating, discouraging, stretching, feeling like we are failing. But it's also impressive, stimulating and injuring because they are not just their struggle and we are becoming better parents every day by being their parents. But if you feel discouraged and at the end of your rope right now and can't seem to see anything positive in situation, it's normal and it's okay.

That's why this podcast exists, that's why my business exists, to help you with all of it and tell you again and again and again until you believe it, that you are a wonderful parent. Because you are here, you're trying to understand your child, so you are.

Okay, off my soapbox but you are a wonderful parent.

But having emotion, intense kids mean emotion are often out of control in your house. Your child explodes out of nowhere. You're likely afraid of the transition, like any transition, and walking on eggshells most of the time to avoid the explosion or meltdowns. You might struggle to connect with your child through all of those conflicts.

And you desperately want to stay calm, but just can't, as you get triggered and overwhelmed each time you lose it and that's not fun life as a parent for anybody really and one thing important if you do nothing to change that it won't get better on its own don't let people tell you they will grow out of it because most of them don't and even it will likely get harder as they grow older because expectations increase if nothing change but you have the power to make change. And I'm guessing that's why you're here.

So I want you to know that there's other possibilities and your life don't have to look that way. Will I promise you your life will be perfect like you expected when you were expecting?

Nope. That your life will be like the Joneses with calm family dinners, many extracurricular activities and collaborative kids that do what you ask the first time?

Nope. And if you have some kids that are emotionally and some that are not, you know that, you see the difference.

But things can go smoothly, or most smoothly, and more importantly, you can have a better relationship with your kids and feel more confident in what you're doing, even when things are spiralling down.

Because when you know you are doing the right thing, you can face things more confidently. It's doubt that makes us struggle the most.

Another aspect of being the parent of an emotionally intense child is that you are not believed and you are judged, and you most likely judge yourself pretty harshly too. Based on the profile of your child, lion, hedgehog, or sloth, I'm going to put a link to the episode on that for more details in the show notes, you are most likely judged as being "that parent": you can get the kids to behave, who's not strict enough and don't say no enough, when in fact you're saying no and enforcing boundaries 10,000 times more than other parents.

You can also be judged as being that annoying parent who's asking for support for your child in school and extracurricular activities when people look at you like you're crazy for asking as your child needs nothing, they are doing well. but at home it's not going well and you know your child is struggling and you want them to get the support they need but nobody's understand or believe or worst they're suggesting more or less subtly that it's your fault since it's happening with you and you most probably doubt yourself all the time which makes it very hard to ask for anything for your child or defend yourself or explain your reality as you don't have the words to do it in a way that makes them understand.

So I hope that by listening to this podcast, and all the other ways I can support you, paid and free, I'll put a link in the show notes for everything, you will stop feeling as lost and discouraged and incompetent, and start to take power back in the situation.

Trust yourself and your child that what you are thinking is valid, and be able to have better relationship and more peace.

Even if it's not going to be perfectly peaceful all the time, that's not your reality, but it can be much more often than now.

See you soon!

I'm so glad you joined me today and took that time out of your intense life to focus on finding a new way to parent that works for you and your kids. To get the episodes as soon as they drop, make sure to subscribe to the podcast and please leave everything in review so other parents can find it too. Also, check all the free resources on my website at familymoments .ca so you can take action on what's the most important for you right now. And take a deep breath, keep going, we're all in this together.